The Wearing of the Spanx

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Dillard's to shop for a Spanx V-Neck Camisole to wear under my knitted tops? I wanted to smooth out the extra flesh my body has produced. I mean I have WAY more flesh than I need to cover my muscles and bones. I slipped into the dressing room intending to slip into a size medium V-Neck Camisole. Not without some difficulty I maneuvered the garment to where my arms were up over my ears and the camisole had rolled into a huge, powerful and immovable "rubberband." Hopelessly entrapped, I felt panic starting to engulf me. My first instinct was to scream for the clerk to come and bring a hacksaw. I calmed down and was able to escape from the size medium Spanx V-Neck Camisole, and without further discussion, got myself into and out of a size large Spanx camisole which I did purchase.

Later that summer hubby and I attended a wedding in Lewistown. I wore the Spanx V-Neck Camisole underneath a knitted dress. I also wore (beneath the dress) some compression underpants. I tucked my compression V-Neck Camisole into my compression underpants, thereby cutting off all lymph flow between the Northern and Southern hemispheres of my body. Immediately following the wedding, we attended a reception where a sumptuous meal was served. I indulged myself in the eating and drinking festivities, but the hour of reckoning dawned when I arrived in the "Ladies' Room." It appeared to have been converted from a small coat closet and contained three tiny stalls. I don't even want to THINK about the grunting, gasping and deep breathing that erupted from my micro toilet stall as I determinedly struggled to rearrange my upper and lower super-spandexed "shapers" to prepare myself to occupy the "throne." An equal amount of time and toil was required to put myself back together before emerging from my sweat box to wash my hands.

My advice to anyone who is trying on a Spanx V-Neck Camisole for the first time is this: Climb into it feet first and pull UP. Much easier than getting stuck when trying to roll DOWN. My leg muscles are stronger than my arm muscles, and I haven't had an entrapment since using the feet first method. As the song written by two guys goes, "I Enjoy Being a Girl." (a BIG girl!)

Gee, I hope you're feeling good! Smile on.